These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services.
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* Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at St. Martin's Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
* The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
* The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight 'Searching for Jesus.'
* The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
* Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
* For those of you who have relatives and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
* Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Father Jack's sermons.
* The Priest will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
* Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
* Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple relatives.
* Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
* The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
* Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM -- prayer and medication to follow.
* The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
* This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
* Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
* The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
* Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
* The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
* The Priest unveiled the church's new offering campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge -- Up Yours!
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