The new year turns towards the sun
and now that summer’s looming
it’s time to re-invent myself
and modernise my grooming.
But Trinny and Susannah
never have a deal to say
on ‘how to look good naked’
down at dear old Studland bay.
So soon I’m pacing up and down
and glancing at my watch.
WHY YES! – a MERKIIN’s just the thing
to liven up my crotch !
What style to choose - I ask myself,
what’s in, what’s out, what’s new ?
Would Tara Palmer what’s-her-name
approve of wigs and glue ?
I’m tempted to go ginger
though I’m not a nat’ral redhead.
But who’s to know my secret
while it’s hanging on the bedhead.
Hair extensions for the pubes -
now there’s a new idea.
As long as no-one sneezes hard
I should be in the clear.
Hey, what about some purple spikes -
a sort of nude punk rocker ?
Or plaits like Pollyanna,
or a 60’s Afro shocker ?
Or maybe like Rapunzel
have it trailing to the sand
so bronzed and naked suitors climb
to ask me for my hand.
I think I’ll veto dreadlocks,
it might look a little wonky,
for after all it must be said
I’m not hung like a donkey.
Perhaps a Marie Antoinette -
no this is getting silly -
don’t want a revolution
just through coiffure for the willy.
It must be eco friendly now
no carbon footprint tread,
so next year l’ll recycle it
and wear it on my head.
My mind’s in turmoil contemplating
pins and perms and stuff,
and worrying what our Pat would say
at admin InTheBuff
It seems an awful length to go
to stand out on the beach.
Perhaps I’ll stick at what I’ve got
with just a little bleach.
Aw yes, I think I’ll chuck it in,
it’s drove me round the bend,
so I’ll conclude my rhyme for you
by saying that’s
THE END
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In The Buff is a community site, which aims to promote the naturist cause. Members are a friendly community of natursts, that enjoy practising naturism either at home, on the beach, on holiday, or anywhere the fancy takes them. They may have been naturists for a week, a year, or their whole life. What brings all the naturists here together is the fun and friendship.