> >
> > Marriage (Part I )
> >>
> >> Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady,
> >> And after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
> >> "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
> >> I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
> >> I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
> >> I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
> >> I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
> >> When I want with my old buddies, and don't you
> >> give me a hard time about it.
> >> Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said:
> >> "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
> >> there will be sex Here at seven o'clock every night Whether
> >> You're here or not!!!
> >>
> >> (DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
> >>
> >> ************************************************
> >> Marriage (Part II)
> >>
> >> Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day
> >> of their 40th wedding anniversary!
> >> The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you
> >> a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
> >> "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting
> >> you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband --
> >> Stiff At Last'!"
> >>
> >> (HE ASKED FOR IT!)
> >>
> >>
> >> *****************************************
> >> Marriage (Part III)
> >>
> >> Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a
> >> fight at the breakfast table.
> >> Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no
> >> Good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
> >> After some time he realizes he was nasty and
> >> Decides to make amends and rings her up.
> >> She comes to the phone after many rings, and the
> >> Irritated husband says, "What took you so long to
> >> Answer to the phone?"
> >> She says, "I was in bed."
> >> "In bed this early, doing what?"
> >> "Getting a second opinion!"
> >>
> >> (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
> >> *****************************************
> >> Marriage (Part IV)
> >>
> >> A man has six children and is very proud of his
> >> Achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he
> >> Starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of
> >> Her objections.
> >> One night, they go to a party. The man decides
> >> That it IS time to go home and wants to find out if
> >> His wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at
> >> The top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of
> >> Six?"
> >> His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
> >> Shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of
> >> Four."
> >>
> >> (RIGHT ON, LADY!)
> >>
> >> *****************************************
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